Just like any religion …

… vegetarianism has its zealots who think that their way is the only right way to think, to be, to live. (Not all, just a few.) It's one thing to know unshakably that something is right for you, but entirely another to try to project that on others, besides. These folks'll try any number of tactics to bring everyone to "their" way of thinking, too. Shock, with horrid pictures of suffering animals pasted on placards (or on websites), shame, coercion, bullying, etc. – all for the sake of peace and innocence, of course. ;-)

But I've also noticed something else. It doesn't work for long, and hooray for that. My sincerest admiration goes to those who won't be coerced by such low-life tactics.

People may be repulsed in the short term, but they're usually so disgusted and dismayed that it drives them further away from trying vegetarianism, instead of drawing them closer. They might even continue to eat meat defiantly because they don't want to be like "those people."

I've also noticed something else. Those same people who won't be coerced are also usually kind, thoughtful people, many of them animal lovers. They just aren't vegetarians. And these kind, thoughtful people are pleasantly surprised to learn that they can make a positive impact to lessening animal cruelty and to the environment by a few small changes in behavior. Like going meatless a few meals a week, or only buying free range, or refusing to wear fur. Rendering a little education is much better – and far more respectful – than being a bully.

Starting to be convinced

About three weeks into this new "not quite vegan" lifestyle, the psychological struggles are starting to abate and I'm just starting to admit that darn it, I feel better physically than I have recently as a complete vegan. All for a couple of servings of fish a week.

For one, I have a lot more energy and can concentrate better. I wasn't sure at first, but I'm starting to be convinced that it's because of the fish. It wasn't always that way, by the way; in my younger days, I never ever thought that I would eat meat again after I became vegetarian at 18. (Actually, after that initial assessment, I never gave it a thought for the next 28 years or so.)

And number two, I have a lot more stamina when I work out than I've had for probably the last year or so. I'm not sure when the shift happened, because it didn't occur to me to try anything to fix it or even that anything was really wrong until I just had a craving for fish one day (for the record, I've never really liked fish before this even when I did eat meat and never thought I would). Then presto, a little fish, and it's like I'm on speed -- only in a good way.

I've always said that some people need meat and shouldn't be belittled just because they do, but it never occurred to me before this that individuals probably have different needs throughout their lives and that even once-vegetarians can become "flexitarians," or part-time vegetarians, when the need arises, such as when they get older. And, as it turns out, there may be some science to this.

In part because I was trying to make myself feel better about this shift, I was reading up on this and I found out that middle-aged women (of which I'm one) tend to need more protein, and more concentrated protein, to help build bone mass just before they reach menopause. If that's true, then I'm relieved to be where I am, that's for sure.

Disappointment

I know this blog doesn't have a huge following, but dammit! One of the things I'm struggling with is that I feel as though I've "let people down" by having to include fish in my diet again. And again, intellectually I don't agree with that; I'd be the first to say, "Have your fish, if that's what you need" to anyone. The reality of oh-so-messy feelings is quite different, though.

The intent of this blog, and the website before it, was never to do what so many vegan sites do, which is to try to convert folks to being full-time vegetarians or vegans, or even to provide a cozy spot for veggies-only to sit a spell (though you most certainly are welcome to; it's just not the main focus). There are already plenty of those kinds of blogs and sites.

Instead, I just wanted to kind of bring the two camps together – meat eaters and veggies – so that in some small way, any kind of militancy would stop and both sides could start talking about solutions to all of the problems we face now; solutions to help end commercial meat production and bring it back to free range, humane practices; solutions whereby just maybe, people would give careful thought to what they were eating so that even if they did need to eat meat, they could think about where it was coming from and scale back consumption a bit to help out the environment and give less business to the meat industry.

And I'll continue to do that, even as I assimilate this new identity for myself. Things are just going to be a bit fragmented for a while until I can do that, so bear with me.

One thing about the grocery bill …

… is that the "fish twice a week" thing actually is less expensive than the completely vegan diet (even from scratch, as I cook), because I eat a lot less and rarely get hungry. So I like the convenience of not having to eat so often (or as much), and I like the savings. Still, having to adjust to knowing I'm eating a poor defenseless animal bites. Aargh! :-) Knowing too much can suck sometimes.

More on this "new" identity

It's strange. I've never been of the opinion that *everyone* can be vegetarian or vegan, because each of us has different dietary needs. So I'd be the first one to tell someone in my shoes who has begun to eat fish or meat again that if that's what had to be done, so be it. And just like so much else, it's a lot easier said than done. Because … it's okay if it happens to "other" people, but not me. Yep; double standard. Imperfect, contradictory thinking, trying to sort this all out.

Because here's the thing. Now I suddenly "need" a little fish a couple of times a week. Not sure why, but I suspect my age (46) and a ramped up workout program might have something to do with it. Building muscle, and I can't be as efficient as I once was at it because I'm older, so I need a more concentrated protein source than beans and rice can provide? (I even tried eggs and soy protein powder, to no avail. Fish was the only thing that "clicked in" and made me feel energetic again.)

So, okay, it makes me feel better physically, but I still struggle ethically with it. How many other vegans or vegetarians have spent the last 25 years not once thinking about eating meat or fish, and secure in the knowledge that no animal was going to suffer because of them today – only to have that vanish the instant their bodies said they needed something they didn't want? And how many like me struggle with that and do it anyway, because they somehow must? That's where I am at the moment; I'll continue to sort this out.

A change

This "lazy vegan" isn't quite one any longer. For the past couple of weeks, I've felt the need to add a little fish to my diet, this after more than 25 years without anything of the sort. So I guess you "never say never."

I continue to support veganism, vegetarianism, and anyone who wants to try it even part time. (And actually, I still eat a mostly vegan diet, but with a couple of servings of fish thrown in every so often.) It feels strange to have a need to eat fish, and I struggle with my own feelings on that. But I've also always supported those who "need" meat and fish, and I guess I should count myself among them. This will continue to evolve, I'm sure, and I'll keep you posted.

Sorry about that!

It was brought to my attention yesterday that there was no "comments" section in my blog. (I don't get very many comments anyway, so I didn't notice. ;-) ) I've been tweaking my blog set up a little bit and somehow the "comments" section got turned off. It's back up and running and yes, I do want your comments if you want to submit them.

Thanks,

Kim

When life's a struggle

Tough economic times are ahead for a lot of people right now because of the state the economy is in, and it's no different for vegans, either. Yes, we can eat more cheaply than most people, but we still have other bills to pay just like most folks, and sometimes the money just isn't there, or it's going to be delayed.

When it gets to that point, I really start taking things one day at a time; is there any choice? Freelancing sets you up to have this skill, anyway, because it's a pretty spotty way to live, financially, for most people. You have times of plenty when you put away the extra (and long for sleep ;-) ), and times of scarcity when you coast for a little while on what you've got saved (and hope the next job pops real soon, even as you catch up on sleep). And usually, if you're lucky and frugal enough, the next job(s) pop before the money runs out.

Tunnel vision can be helpful

At that time, it's helpful to have tunnel vision, because there really isn't anything you can do, so you just look at what can happen the next day. If you're going to be okay the next day, the next week, bravo. Time to concentrate on finding some work. And if you're not, well, usually, you still get by.

Thing is, this too shall pass. We've got a good President, as it appears, in office who just might bring us out of this; if relatively similar circumstances in the '30s are any indication, we've been through this before and are set to prosper even more after things have settled down. I watch every news conference he holds with excitement and hope. He's not a god, to be sure, and he can't fix everything, nor can he do anything overnight. But he does appear to be listening to people and focusing on what needs to be done, and that's a good sign.

Are there any "cants" when it comes to being vegan?

Being vegan is a very personal choice, and if you've decided to adopt this lifestyle, you might think that now, you're suddenly bound by a strict set of rules that says you can never have animal products at any time, either in your diet or in your life in general.

However, that's not necessarily true. Because being vegan is such a personal choice, yes, you're going to find people who strictly adopt being vegan in every single segment of their lives. And if so, bravo. That's their choice, certainly.

However, that kind of strict focus can be detrimental, too. If you've decided to become vegan and adopt a purely strict vegan lifestyle in every sense right away, it can be quite difficult to live your life. For example, there are many, many products you wouldn't otherwise think of that have animal byproducts in their makeups, including even such things as some elements of computer ware. Most strict vegans, too, probably unknowingly use at least some animal byproducts occasionally simply because they're largely unavoidable in modern society.

The "danger" of strict veganism

What's perhaps "dangerous" about strict veganism, especially those who are newly trying it out, is that it's so strict it may be impossible to keep up, and may tempt you to give up the veganism altogether. If that's you, then I would encourage you not to be so strict with yourself. "Mostly" vegan is still better than "not" vegan, as the situation applies to you.

Instead, do the best you can and start out slowly; cut out animal products from your diet if you can so that at least you know you're not consuming animal products this way (this is where the bulk of animal products' consumption comes in), then slowly look at the rest of your life, too, and make changes there as you can. (By the way, many of we vegans have vegan diets, but still use animal byproducts in the rest of our lives, such as to feed our pets; this means that many in the vegan population are not purely strict with their veganism, in that they use absolutely no animal products whatsoever. This is unrealistic for many people, and therefore not everyone follows this focus.)

Remember that even "a little" is better than nothing. If you can't be perfectly strict in your veganism at least at first, that's okay. You may find as time goes on that you can cut other products out of your life comfortably once looking for alternatives becomes a way of life. And that may be the best way to live a comfortable AND conscientious vegan lifestyle.

Keeping things secret?

Most of the thinking I do about being a vegan or vegetarian comes from, of course, my perspective and those of my friends who share this lifestyle with me. But I've noticed that there's kind of a funny conundrum going on sometimes.

Whether or not you want to be vegan or vegetarian full-time, most people would agree that doing so least part time is good for your health. That assumes, of course, that you eat veggies, beans, whole grains, and (if vegetarian) low-fat dairy as part of your efforts to go vegetarian/vegan, not that you simply load up on the cheese pizza, potato chips, and anything else that can classify as "vegetarian" but is still junk food.

But there's almost sort of a … not guilt, but a propensity sometimes to try not to be found out that you're actually going vegetarian part time by your more diehard meat eating friends. After all, you might get a little razzed for being a "tree hugger" or some other such namby-pamby term.

So it's really funny, because I've had more than one person over the years, especially recently, kind of sidle up to me and whisper, "I eat vegetarian three days a week," or something similar as though it's a big secret. And I guess it is, really.

The point is, I wish people didn't have to be embarrassed about the healthy, conscientious food choices they make. If they are, though, then I guess keeping a secret is worth having one more person jump on the veggie wagon at least part-time and therefore save their health, our friends in the animal kingdom, and of course the environment.