More on this "new" identity

It's strange. I've never been of the opinion that *everyone* can be vegetarian or vegan, because each of us has different dietary needs. So I'd be the first one to tell someone in my shoes who has begun to eat fish or meat again that if that's what had to be done, so be it. And just like so much else, it's a lot easier said than done. Because … it's okay if it happens to "other" people, but not me. Yep; double standard. Imperfect, contradictory thinking, trying to sort this all out.

Because here's the thing. Now I suddenly "need" a little fish a couple of times a week. Not sure why, but I suspect my age (46) and a ramped up workout program might have something to do with it. Building muscle, and I can't be as efficient as I once was at it because I'm older, so I need a more concentrated protein source than beans and rice can provide? (I even tried eggs and soy protein powder, to no avail. Fish was the only thing that "clicked in" and made me feel energetic again.)

So, okay, it makes me feel better physically, but I still struggle ethically with it. How many other vegans or vegetarians have spent the last 25 years not once thinking about eating meat or fish, and secure in the knowledge that no animal was going to suffer because of them today – only to have that vanish the instant their bodies said they needed something they didn't want? And how many like me struggle with that and do it anyway, because they somehow must? That's where I am at the moment; I'll continue to sort this out.